Being A Woman In The World Today

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How was it for you growing up as a woman?

What!

Who even asks that question ?!

I certainly had not been until recently, where I was actually asked twice in the month.

Don’t get me wrong… I have heard many people talk about what it means to be a woman, including everything it means to be an ‘empowered‘ woman in the world today… Yet most of this comes from the media in some shape or form. So to stop and truly connect to this question and ALL it was asking of me was quite an epic moment that really got me reflecting on my entire life. From here stemmed quite the unravelment as my relationship with the word woman alone, was a word I used to totally cringe at and actually avoid using altogether.

Why did I used to cringe at the word woman and not stop to ask why?  Is that not a little strange?  Or are there other women out there who felt or still hold similar feelings around the word woman and all it embodies and can conjure up?

It’s like the word woman alone feels so full bodied, so womanly, so big, powerful and worldly…  I know that is not how I felt in myself growing up. If anything I was annoyed I wasn’t born a boy.

And then just as I was beginning to consider what it meant for me growing up as a woman I was asked the following question:

What images did you hold of what a woman was, when you were growing up?

Images?

Do you mean the images of women I saw in magazines and on TV? The ones I looked up to and aspired to be like?

Gosh. Images… There must have been so many, only the main one that came to me initially was my mum. I was never a kid nor a teenager who really looked up to other women… So I thought.  I was more into my footy and basketball trading for cards, while other girls looked at Dolly and Cleo magazines. So as I was asked these questions I literally thought for a moment I had not really been all to influenced neither positively nor negatively by all of the thousands of images we receive as girls/women, boys/men telling us what to wear, how to talk, walk, sex, act, perform, look, dress, exercise, shape our bodies, pose, play, move, work, care, and love or not love like…

I got through the whole imposed image bombardment thing pretty unscathed.

Not!

Wow, was this a spin out or what, to fully realise this was so not the case.

Through my perceptions I saw what a woman was supposed to be, do, say, act and move like through my mum. Yet as I dug a little deeper I unravelled a life of choices that was far more influenced by the outside world than I had ever cared to connect to and feel the full extent of. Hence why I am writing this down, because I wonder how many women around the world have been influenced in various ways just like me, without fully realising it, nor making the connection that ALL these influences actually change the course of our lives in various measures, as it did mine significantly.

During my younger years growing up my mum was a woman who could and did do everything… all of the time. My mum really was super woman in her skills and abilities both professionally and domestically as she could work on a billion things at once and get stuff done. Weather it be working full time, doing the cleaning, cooking, studying, being a ‘good wife,’ running errands, driving my sister and I to basketball all over the state, being there for her friends at any given moment, glamming herself up when needed, able to fit the picture of what ever situation she was in… Oh mum even painted our whole house on her own inside and out roofs and all on more than one occasion.

There was a while there, growing up that I thought being a million miles an hour doing, doing, doing everything all of the time was the life of a woman, (yet at the same time I didn’t.)  When I tried to be like others it was unsustainable and when I tried to keep up with my mum I simply couldn’t. It would result in me being hard on myself, amplifying a state of self loathing and thinking there was something wrong with me.

In reflection, I actually can see that I chose to reject myself as a woman from an early age. Given that I couldn’t keep up with my mum and her tornado ways I kinda threw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak, as I never stopped to ask myself:

How do I feel to be?

I used outer influences and apparent role models to determine and direct how I expressed myself including the pace and way in which I moved. When I realised I didn’t like or fit any other mould no matter how similar to me, I chose to hide myself in baggy clothes for many years and become a tomboy.

I can now recognise my shutting down to the fact I was a woman was detrimental to me, my body and to how I felt, not to mention the quality of my relationships.  It was a whopping reaction (despite thinking I hid it well) to the way I superficially experienced and even judged women including myself.

For example I didn’t like how busy so many women were, busy in that rushy, stressy overwhelmed way. I didn’t like how so many women I knew and even watched on TV and saw in the movies complained about their partners and husbands, (it simply didn’t feel loving and how I felt relationships could be.) I didn’t like how bitchy women could be, all of the drama, gossip and backstabbing seemed so unnecessary.  I didn’t like how much girls and women went into comparison. (It totally kills all appreciation of our selves and each other and constantly leaves us feeling never enough.) The same goes for perfectionism.   I didn’t like how girls talked about boys all the time (It’s like without a boyfriend or date there was something wrong with you.) I didn’t like how girls and women would use make-up and clothes (if any) to manipulate / hook people into liking them. I didn’t like all the fakeness that came with that. I didn’t like how women allowed themselves to be treated, objectified, even abused both verbally and physically…

In saying that… I equally partook in these conversations, these actions and comparisons in various ways… If not through my own personal experiences it was through my observations where I often sat back and said nothing despite things really not feeling ok time after time. I watched myself and others morph into a million people in one, based on what was trending, what was cool, what the latest was, what you thought you had to do even if it was at the expense of yourself and self abusive.

Even writing this I am still asking… why?

Why do we so often override how we truly feel at the expense of ourselves?

What is the cost of treating ourselves and others like this? Like really? Not just of ourselves but as a collective global society?

And I say and ask this now, without judgement of people / women. I say this from a developed understanding of how we often chameleon, compromise, calibrate, compare, cower , contract ourselves into all of these images and behaviours we may perceive and believe are necessary to have us ‘fit in.’

To fit into the box of what it means to be a woman in the world today. 

Who even created the box? 

How does it still exist today? Which it undoubtedly does. I’m a primary school teacher and work with teenagers and I can see the pressures and expectations young people facing across the board are actually intensifying. The impact of these is beyond concerning.

It has become so clear that in hiding my true self I am simply projecting more images communicating to others you can’t be your true self. Weather I like it or not everyone I meet receives this message including my students. Talk about responsibility.

It’s like… If I’m not being true to myself who am I being ?

What a question!

I know this is why I became a tomboy for many years. It seemed life was more simple playing sports and hanging out with boys. It’s obvious to me now, that in acting like a boy I could attempt to avoid the many pressures and expectations girls and women experience. It took me until my late 20’s to understand oversized clothes and competitive sports wasn’t the solution either.

When I reflect back… not too far. I can see I have kind of chameleoned myself into so many different images (and I’m only 34.) There has been the sporty basketball, cricket, footy chic, the too cool for school skater girl, the underage dance clubber trying to look way older than I was look, grungy teenager, the bit preppy 20 something with my bow ties, a bit hip hop with my baggy clothes and high top sneakers, a bit don’t know how to dress because I am hiding my sexuality.

There was a while there, I didn’t know if I wanted to wear baggy jeans with my baseball cap side wards or a skirt and heels. I was all over the shop. And this confusion progressively led me to hit a real low point for about six months at age 26. It was a point in my life I had listened to so many other people and been influenced by so many ideals and beliefs, I didn’t know who I was, what I believed nor what I was doing… (Yet deep down I did. ) I was like a zombie version of myself.  So much energy went into the outside image and the expense of my body and inner feelings, which were obviously suffering. It took me to feel empty, unfulfilled, depressed and even blind in one eye before I stopped and ask myself what I wanted for my life?

I had quite literally ignored myself for many years. It is interesting how we are even capable of choosing this. 

It was not long after I met Natalie Benhayon. A woman who literally supported me to change my life in every area. A woman who supported me to re-connect to my body and everything that was already within. A woman who reflected to me what a true woman is. A woman who supported me to be me and know how to live me in the world. A woman who truly empowered me. A woman who had me look no further, seek no more solutions, only seek true answers, and to know and understand that our own well-being comes from within. A truly inspiring woman who fully lives ALL that she supports others to sustainably, vitally, joyfully, confidently, awesomely live. 

Natalie Benhayon de-defines what being a woman in the world today.

Images, expectations, pressures, ideals and beliefs free.

Through the reflection of Natalie’s living way you cannot but be sparked up and blown away (or simply inspired 🙂 by her confidence, her beauty, her power, her unwavering connection and expression to all that she holds true, her ease in being, her true sexiness and equally delicate, graceful , sacred self. So wise, so amazing, so stylish, playful and awesome all the while going :

And… 

What makes me different to you? 

Nothing … Besides possibly our choices. 

Natalie Benhayon makes it so crystal clear that it’s our choices, it’s our personal rhythms and cycles, it’s our consistent commitment to honouring ourselves, it is living responsibly and truly honestly, it is about being real… that is so essential. Like really.  If we are to live a loving, joyful, truthful, fulfilling life we truly enjoy. One where we know, value and deeply appreciate ourselves first for the qualities we bring before all that we do. Then our everyday self-loving choices are absolutely key and the very foundation we need for our vital state of health and well-being.

With our world today being in a grave state of illness and disease. Where 80% of illness and disease is contributed to by our lifestyle choices … It is worth asking:

Why wait? 

Why wait for mental health issues including depression (as I did) to stop and re- assess how we are living?

Why wait for a cataract in your eye (as happened to me) to stop and ask why this unusually occurred for me at such a young age?

Why wait for my period to completely stop for a whole year to realise something is not right in the way I am living or not living as a woman?

Why wait for asthma in your 40’s , a never ending wheeze and cough, and having to have a full hysterectomy in your 50’s (like my mum did) to stop and re-assess if the momentum you were running with through life was supportive of ones body. It’s true mum could do anything if she put our mind to it, yet is this what the body was asking for?

I can say this now about mum, (with her permission… hi mum 🙂 because we have both done a 360. We have both been beyond inspired by Natalie Benhayon whom I may add is 26,  I’m 34 and my my is 64. So amazing to see we can make simple changes to our life at any age and completely transform our relationship with ourselves, our body and one another.

It’s really is never too late to make true change.

So…Why wait for illness or even feeling flat to stop, connect, feel and truly listen to ourselves ???

What are we waiting for?

I know! We are waiting to attend

The 5th Melbourne Women In Livingness Workshop, which I may add is coming up soon!

And opportunity to meet the woman who inspired me to truly understand what lifestyle choices were and were not supporting me, the woman who knocked giving my power away to all of the information we are loaded with telling us how to eat, sleep, exercise, work, be in relationships…the woman who put the ball lovingly back in my court and taught me how to care and love my self,  the woman who introduced being truly honest with myself and others, the woman who blew it all out of the water in a good way…

Oh and the woman who empowered me to claim my self as a woman. And a mighty beautiful one at that… Gosh how far have I come to even say that 🙂

It really is not to be missed day. If you are interested in Health Well-being and true empowerment. Not the kind where you need to climb Mt Everest.  The kind that allows you to live with ease, vitality and vibrancy naturally each day. Then check out

http://www.womeninlivingness.com

Click on the events page if you would like to book in

Save the date!

See you there!

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Coming out, what’s it all truly about?

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The term coming out is often directly related to people who are lesbian, gay or bisexual proclaiming to themselves and others the gender they are attracted to. It was a term that scared the day lights out of me for years, and only in more recent years am I beginning to understand why I felt such resistance and reaction to the term and all it reveals for those choosing to ‘come out’.

For some coming to terms with their sexuality is easy, and for others it is very difficult or something they deny or hide entirely into their adult life. Peoples confusions, fears, reactions, prejudices, lack of acceptance, political stances, religious beliefs, fear of rejection and the unknown can all contribute to why this may be a challenging process, causing great tension in those who are seeking to ‘come out.’ Yet equally, for some this process just becomes the next step in ones necessary self-expression. Supportive friends and family, a loving, open accepting upbringing, or simply just not being affected by the outside world and it’s many influences, nor thinking it is an issue to begin with, may just be enough to state ones status and get on with life.

When considering these factors I can’t help but still simply ask:

Why?

Why has this term ‘coming out’ become the focus of a small percentage of individuals around the world?

I understand why, based on a long history where by to be anything but straight is often looked at with distinction, stemming from re-interpreted religious beliefs, long standing political policies and oppression. And despite their being a growing acceptance of homosexuality in particular states and countries around the world the reality is, being gay is still illegal in many. In fact, as it stands:

  • Today in 2016, there are currently 78 countries that hold anti homosexuality laws.
  • Coming out will actually land you the death sentence in at least 5 of those and possible imprisonment in the others, not to mention the abuse and ill treatment that we continue to see today.

These numbers represent a very large number of people that together are further adding to the divisions in our world. It’s like the collective energy of ‘anti gay,’ fills a giant pool that leaks separation and division into our backyards and into our homes. Then allowing others to be affected with the emotional struggles, limitations, political policies and religious doctrines that cap peoples free will. All of the outer influences that can affect ones coming out process no matter where they are located in the world.

When did we loose our sense of commonality and start believing somehow we are different to one another, whereby we can say you can be together but you can’t, you can marry but you can’t,  you can be and express ALL of who you truly are but you can’t?

I can say from many years of working with children, no child is born homophobic They are not born racist for that matter either. They don’t actually care if you are male, female or transgendered… To children it is about love. And often they will let us know if we are not being it.

When we stop to consider what unifies people no matter their sexual preference, gender, race, nationality, religious beliefs, political views, sport team followed, hobbies pursued, personality traits. All of the many things that group us in this world, if we just take a moment to drop all of that and stand as we are, as a being with a soul and a heart. We may sense that there is a great amount we have in common with one another, just by the beautiful fact alone, we all live within a body that seeks to live in harmony at every moment.

Our hearts do not pick and choose when to beat, determined by those who are gay and those who are straight. Our heart beats unconditionally, and not only this, our hearts emit the strongest electromagnetic field of any organ bonding us to others and the universe, un-selective of who or what we identify as and with.

When we appreciate the science of our heart, we feel the fact that we are equally interconnected at every breath as we literally embody a heart that communicates with the hearts of all others unaffected by any belief system or ideals we may live. And contrary to the unifying love of our hearts, we can still manage to think and live in disconnection to this fact, whilst believing we are separate to one another.

With this awareness, is it possible there are qualities of our movements be them rough, abrupt, forceful.  Or in contrast tender, graceful, effortless that we can all equally relate to, feel and know. No matter if we live in a cave, on top of a mountain, in the suburbs, the hills, the beach or the dessert. Who ever we are and where ever we are, we all know a tender loving touch and much as we know a rough unloving one.

Is it possible, it is in our ability to choose loving movements that will bond us and naturally break down the ideals and beliefs that have us think it is a gay thing and not a love thing?

It is interesting to question how we can even choose to live in a way that is not supportive or inline with the natural harmony of our body and impulse of our inner heart, when the choice to stay present and aware of this is always so very alive within us in each and every moment.

How come we more often honour the very natural, innate, loving, precious qualities with young children, where we bring such deep care, tenderness, sensitivity, awareness, dedication, responsibility… yet we seem to abandon them as we grow taller. It is worth questioning why?

Where does this then leave us, when society as a whole gears us from a young age to focus on the exterior of who we are, over the inner qualities of our movements and expressions of who we truly are, where it is seemingly easy to abandon what is simply our natural loving lived way?

When one breaks out of the confines that they find themselves in around claiming their sexuality, this is to be celebrated, as anyone stepping out of any experienced contraction, and even oppression into a greater level of self-expression is amazing. Yet at the end of the day do we ask ourselves how gay was your day? How straight was my date?

How many of us ask:

  • Does being straight or gay guarantee I will be loving with myself or other people? Or is it my choice to be love through all that I choose, (including what I eat, when I go to sleep, my exercise rhythm, how I express with people, the emotions and hurts I deal with, how much I accept and appreciate myself and life…) that will determine my quality of connection and the depths of love I feel for myself and others equally?
  • Does being bisexual guarantee me great relationships with both men and women or is it my choice to have a loving relationship with myself that will be a marker of the depths of intimacy I can go to with either gender?

These examples show the ridiculousness of how we can even see each other as different, whatever our skin colour, sexual preference, religion, geographical location, economic status… The list goes on. Here we can feel and see so simply we ALL EQUALLY hold the power to make loving or non loving choices moment to moment.

It is through our choices that unify or divide us, empower or dis empower us individually and collectively. In saying this:  Are our choices adding to the great divides in society or contributing to the much needed re-bonding between humanity world wide?

When we return to the term ‘coming out’ does this change our relationship with what it represents in truth, equal to all people in our world when we hold the awareness that being true to ourselves in the physical expression of love determined by our momentary choices every day, takes us way deeper than any gender identification, label slapped on us or sexual orientation alone? It’s like we accept these titles as a security to offer us an identity, yet we are so much more.

Is it possible if have stepped away from knowing how truly amazing we are (Like we knew and lived so freely as little kids) we are happy to settle for labels that box and limit us.  Weather it be a footy player, an academic, an artist or a lesbian… These many labels are such a shallow way of identifying the fullness and epic awesomeness of who we truly are and what we all bring in our many unique expressions.

Through the way we choose to live with ourselves and each other, simply through the loving quality of our expression unrestrained by any perceived boundaries or separation between groups, are we not the living keys who each hold the responsibility to breaking down all that keeps us separate and all that holds us back in life? 

We can see this takes us way beyond tolerance of people, far deeper than peace of any nation, and uncompromising of the fact that we can all choose tender love that unites us all. Through the power of what is true and loving equally inside us all, we have all that it takes to all truly ‘come out’ in more ways than one. No labels needed.

Everyday we are presented the opportunity to express what we feel in full, to speak our truth, to call out the evils in the world, to not give up on ourselves, others or life, to move with tenderness and grace, to live with deep care, love, joy, appreciation, responsibility. Where we have the choice to fully commit to all areas of our lives and all we are here to learn from our own bodies, one another, nature and the universe as a whole.

With this as our possible way forward, we are ALL naturally invited to a true coming out party each and everyday. One where together, we live the loving communication of our own inner hearts in full with one another. The harmony we were born being.

Looks like the coming out party just got a whole lot bigger!!!

 

References

77 countries where homosexuality is illegal

The Energetic Heart Is Unfolding

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It’s never too late to accept love.

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I recently visited my Nan in the nursing home she moved into a few months ago. Nan is on level one, which is for residents with dementia. When I walk down the corridors of the home I cannot but help reflect on the lives lived of the residents as I pass their doors, reading each name as I walked by, seeing their feet poke out from their adjacent recliners, lights flickering from the blaring televisions. I wonder about each resident’s life lived and what led them to be in a nursing home? I wonder if they have loved ones? I wonder if they have friends and family who visit them? I wonder how much of them is still in the house so to speak? I wonder if they feel ready to pass over? I wonder if and why they were hanging on for any reason? Do they feel they have more to say? More to express? Connections still to be made? Hurts and things to let go of and deal with? Have they given up on themselves and life? At what point and why?

When I walk down the corridors of level one to visit Nan, the sadness, loneliness and a lack of life in the building is tangible. When I experienced this walking to Nan’s room on my first visit, my eyes welled up and I almost burst into tears. I had a moment of it feeling quite overwhelming, being in a home with so many elderly people who looked so sad, unwell and checked out. It was in that moment I stopped and gathered myself. I connected to the deep love I hold for my Nan, rather than let the sadness take over. I recognised I had the choice to have the visit be an emotional exercise, to let myself take on the emotions of the residents, to sympathise with what I was seeing. Or I could take it as an opportunity to really connect with my Nan, the staff and those whom I passed walking the corridors with their strollers.

I absolutely love my Nan. I have always had a very close relationship with her. Yet I actually didn’t think she would ever get dementia, so it was strange to visit her in an aged care home. Although in saying this I know Nan’s will and purpose to live has not been strong for many years now. She is currently 89 and retired in her 40’s. As a result Nan has spent many years watching day time television and concerning herself with the affairs of others and the world in all that she sees on television and reads in the paper daily. Nan has always worried about the state of our world, where humanity is at, how people behave, always commenting and questioning what and why people choose to do what they do. With this has always come a lot of worry, stress and a gradual withdrawal from continuing her own activity in the community.

“Ah mumma mia the world is going crazy.” “What is wrong with people darling.?” “People are going silly.”

Nan talks about the changes she has observed over time including the increase in violence, sickness and incidences since she was younger. I recognise where her stresses come from as she see’s the state of our world intensifying each day.  In this I am able to bring understanding to Nan’s emotions, as my Nan holds a beautiful innocence in many ways. You see my Nan loves children. She loves ‘little ones’. She adores babies. In knowing this about my Nan, who so clearly see’s the essence of every child, their absolute preciousness, love, innocence and purity we are all equally come from. Nan also sees that as people grow up they loose their connection to their essence and as a result choose behaviours which make the world the place it is today, where we still have war, murders, divorce, abuse, famine, corruption and so many things that simply don’t make sense to the harmony we are born being…

As I am writing this I am actually appreciating my Nan more than ever. I am appreciating that although she may not have been raised in a way that supported her to to deeply cherish, adore, honour, love, nurture and care for herself.  All the qualities of care she knows is so essential with little children, I can see that she has always held a very strong connection to what is true, to what is love and to all that it takes to keep life simple and harmonious.

This is why I am writing this post. Because although my Nan has dementia she is still able to express how she feels when she is connected. Our conversation last night has inspired me to share some of the pearls of wisdom Nan shares with me in these connected moments.

To start this off… It’s kind of funny… Because you see… I’m gay. No big deal right. :). I actually never think about it. Bit weird to even write. I might be labeled gay, but my name is Emilia. :). Yet in saying this a while back I did care. Like I really did. I was obsessively fearful about coming out, about being ‘gaaaay’ to the point of keeping a relationship from the ages of 16-24 a total secret, only to tell a few friends in the last years of our relationship. Crazy I know. But at the same time many many people live like this, keeping their sexual preference hidden for a lifetime, or a longtime at least.

Now along with all the hiding, anxiety, fear, emotion and many, many lies, tears and stories told… This long lived lie I held onto for dear life included how I related with my Nan up until the age of 26. Whom I may add, without fail has always asked up until this point if I had met a nice Italian man?

I would always routinely reply, “No Nan. “

“Why not darling?”

“What is a beautiful girl like you doing without a nice man?”

“Brush your hair, grow your hair long… Darling you need to go to the football outside the members or the gym and drop something and have a nice man pick it up for you,”

And I would reply, “I just haven’t met anyone yet Nan. I am happy, I have close friends.”

“Hmmm.” She would reply. Looking at me suspiciously. “Let me brush your hair”

So after we went over and over this scenario of me needing to brush, wear a dress, grow my hair longer, do myself up up stand outside office blocks waiting for a nice man…for years and years. Literally, years and years…

Nan one day stopped and asked me the question…

“You are not one of those silly ones are you?”

“No Nan!” (I knew what she was asking… and reading in me) Although I certainly can be silly 🙂

“So why don’t you have a nice husband and nice children?”

The lie continued a little longer until one day, with the support of Serge Benhayon an inspiring man who’s wisdom I respect deeply, simply said to me ‘tell your Nan’ after I shared with him my stress of keeping my life a secret for fear of hurting my Nan and family…

The opportunity to let my Nan in and be truthful came back around.

“So are you one of them??? “

“Yes Nan. I am.”

Nan looked at me. And said, “I could not love you any less or anymore darling.”

As I got teary and she hugged me, and we squished each other… I began to share with her how amazed I was at her response and how I thought she would kick me out.

Nan just hugged me and said, “How could I love you any less?” Commenting that she see’s us people on television now days…

I believe they introduced a gay character on bold and the beautiful or something! Who would have thought greater acceptance would have stemmed from it. 🙂

So the kinda ironic thing about all of this, after alllll of the years of lying to my Nan, after alllll of the fishing, alllll of the  questions, the advice, the times sitting at Nan’s knees as she brushed my curly hair into some fluffy bouffant…Even after I had introduced her to my past partner whom she loved…

Nan now has no memory of my big coming out!

Yep! It is like we have gone back in time.

So now… When I visit… we go through it all again and again and again and again…

Only this time when Nan asks if I have met a nice man, I say “No Nan. But I have met at amazing woman!” As I show her photos of us together gushing about how gorgeous she is. Nan looks at me, makes a sound like I’m not sure how I feel about this…

I say to Nan “we have been through this, you know I have a partner, you know I am not going to meet a nice Italian Man, yet I have met a woman whom I dearly love and who absolutely loves and adores me the same.”

You see, being gay was never ever something myself or my family thought Nan would accept or be capable of dealing with. To be honest prior to me coming out, my family thought telling her would all be too much for her. Like the news would kill her or something.

Nan surprised us all!

When I visited Nan this week I asked when we went though the questions again… “what changed for you? At what point did you start accepting that women and men can be in same sex relationships?”

Nan just looked at me and said when I was growing up people just got married had children and that was it. I would never have even thought of it… Now days…”you have to accept. You just have to, or it would be like me telling you to get out. You can’t do that you know.”

So now, instead of thinking I was going to kill my Nan for being gay… I continue to receive the blessing of a 89 year old woman, who has been stuck in old patterns of belief in many years, still willing to change and recognise it is never too late to accept love and let go of old ideals and beliefs. And although Nan says never ever would I have even thought of this growing up.  Now Nan has been presented the opportunity to see that perhaps the strong ideals she raised under is not the only way, and she is embracing that. Nan does have moments where she says it seems wrong, as she questions how ‘you people have children… Yet in saying that every time she goes back into old thoughts… She holds my hand a little tighter, looks me deeply in my eyes and returns to Love. Saying, well if your happy, I’m happy darling. As we talk about the details involved again bringing understanding to her questions.

It is that simple. Through the intimacy I now share with my Nan she is able to fully accept me. The amazing thing is about this, is that Nan and I talk about relationships being about love. As I discuss with her,  just because you are in a straight relationship or a gay relationship they both equally take a commitment to make it true and loving. As both can be, just as both can not be. Nan gets it. And although she at times says it is too late for her to make changes and live the self loving life she wants to live, sharing how she doesn’t want to do everything for everyone else like she did this life, wearing herself out, working so hard where she hurts her body. I talk to Nan about her next life. Nan says she is not too sure she believes she is coming back… Yet she does talk about the kind of life she would love to live and the things she doesn’t want to repeat… like she knows it’s possible she is. As her relationship with God, with love let’s her know there is a great purpose to life, and ending on a given up note is not it.

So as each time we come back around… and around and around. There is another opportunity to speak our truth, to let go of beliefs and ideals that separate us, to address behaviours that are not loving, to talk about our concerns and come to greater clarity and understanding. To simply return to who we are. The essence and harmony we are born with. We don’t need to hold back, react and wait for others to be and return to the love and joy, we can live this for ourselves today. Here we will recognise it is our choices that create the news.

So if our choices create the news… What do we choose to live and watch? One that inspires greater acceptance, love, harmony, evolution, truth? Or one that further highlights the separation and abuse?

The choice is ours.

It is never too late to accept love.

It is never too late to live the love we are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Setting fire to the world. The purpose of education part 2.

fire

Ok…

So where on earth is a title like this going to take us?

Well…

The feeling I have to begin is this.

Consider a wall with bill posters all over it, layer after layer of bill posters. All trying to say something, sell something, project something, display something. Bright colours, big images, bold text, hooky slogans… Now I have the feeling as I write this blog, like take both hands and take them all down. Enjoy pulling them all off, all of them, every last one. Clean slate. Fresh start.

So… as you step back to gain perspective and appreciate your work,  you may feel like you can clearly see without being told what to see, you are left to be.

Now I have the feeling of handing you a match.

Yep a match.

Why a match?

Because as I was walking this morning I was considering all of the corruption in the world, all the mistruth, all the dishonesty, all the abuse, all of the harshness, the anger, the war, the revenge, the complication, the holding back, the not living our true selves…

Yep. Just a casual walk 🙂

But at the same time I was walking in a very open beautiful space along side a running creek, tall trees, amazing bird life, people with their dogs talking and connecting. I was questioning to myself. What is with our parallel worlds in the one world?

How come we can live in a world with so much love yet so much of the opposite at the same time?

What does this say about the choices we make individually and collectively in humanity?

What does this say about the quality of choices we make in each moment?

And what source even provides us these two vastly different qualities of choices?

Feel free to ponder on these questions while we bring it back to the match in your hand.

A match that represents fire, truth and love.

Now given the choice to set-fire to the world, whereby you know that everything that is not fire, truth and love was going to burn down.

Would you spark it up?

What would go down?

What would burn to the ground?

It’s a big list isn’t it…?

Perhaps a little too big.

Shall we attempt to go there?

Let’s start with the big guns.

Let’s start with guns, war and everything that comes with war. Death, murder, injury, harm, separation, desolation, decimation, sadness, hurt, anger, revenge, fury, homelessness, orphans, famine, displacement, amputeeism, disease, pain, mental health issues… The list goes on with war alone.

Now how about the big C… corruption?

Where do we start with corruption, that is rife in every country around the world?

How about every dodgy deal that government has ever made that is for self gain and not the evolution of all people equally? Actually how about any choice we make that is for self gain. How about we burn down corporate greed & shonky business deals… and importantly how about we burn down our ability to stay silent as we observe or perhaps turn a blind eye to all of the corruption in the world, including charity.

Yep. we went there. How many charities are there in the world today that are making millions and millions of dollars, swindling it away, whilst putting it into corrupt research, that to date has not made much of a blip to the state of our impoverished world nor the current state of escalating illness and disease?

What else would turn to ashes?

We can go there with the big ones easily…

War, corruption, greed, abuse, violence, racism, sexism, homophobia, abuse in the catholic church, separative religious groups, slavery, sex trade, people smuggling, military services, bribery in government/international trade/business, media, journalism, drug trade, lack of enforcement of environmental regulations, mining, poverty…So much corruption in so many areas of our life and world! And the list could run for pages in detail.

But what about everything that is not fire, truth and love in the detail of our lives? Those big ones don’t always hit home enough. As often they are not in our backyard… So meh. What’s it matter to me. Doesn’t effect my life. Carry on. Functioning as usual, allowing abuse to continue.

Why is it we often wait until our own child or someone close to us is bullied, hurt, sick or even killed that we choose to do something to raise awareness about the injustices, the inequalities, the need to support people. Why do we wait for something to personally strike us before we stand up for what we feel to be true? And only then do we initiate various foundations, organisations to raise money and awareness of an issue.

This is always interesting that we in society do this. We wait to big events to rock us until we are shaken into action. We see it all the time. Terrorist attacks, natural disasters, someone sick in our family , school, work or community. It is like it has to take something that seems directly in our face to make a change and come together.

Why?

Why do we wait for issues or even disaster to strike before we make changes?

Why wait for fire to make a change?

Why wait for floods to unite us?

Why wait for winds to clean the floor so to speak?

Why wait for our earth to rumble and shake us out of our comfort zones and divides?

What if we chose to make a true foundation today?

Yep. Today.

What would it stand for?

What would our foundation want to raise awareness for?

  • The fact that suicide is now 40 people a day around our world killing themselves, why?
  • Would it be to say hey people, cancer is killing us, why?
  • Diabetes is buckling our health system and is at epidemic proportions and still rising, why?
  • Or that heart disease is the biggest killer in our world, why?
  • What about the fact that we still have slavery and child trafficking today, seriously why?
  • Are we starting a foundation because domestic violence and violence against women is also getting out of control, why?
  • Or young peoples mental health is declining at earlier and earlier ages and more young people are self harming, maybe we should raise awareness about that, why?

What is our foundation?

What do we truly care about?

Is it possible that to bring true change to our global foundation we first have to live a very solid, dedicated, purposeful one ourselves?

What I mean by this for example is: How on earth do we expect our global foundation to go well, even with all the money in the world when we do not ourselves live the very foundation we want to see and bring to our day, to our lives personally and in respect to the all. Like really. With all the billions that have been put into all of the charities, organisations, foundations globally, how come as a society we are getting sicker and more out of balance?

We gotta look at that one… seriously.

So…we all know we innately we want to live in a loving, caring, harmonious world. That is a pretty basic common place to start. Yet the thing is, people now days would probably even argue that this is a utopian ideal. That living in a loving, caring, harmonious world is far fetched and can’t exist.

Yet I say, take your match and set light to the world and see what is left standing. 

Considering all that was ever chosen for self and not all others equally will burn. Now we stand as ourselves,  with humanity in the divine beauty of nature. Nothing else is imposing on us. Nobody is identified by the country they were born, because nationalism does not exist in truth. Separation between religion does not exist in truth as we are all equally love. God would never divvy us up into man hating individuals. God holds all equally.

So as we stand now, as equal sons of God in nature.

Like on my walk…surrounded by the infinite beauty that is nature. Where the sound of every bird whistle is unique. Where the myriad of different greens of the grass, trees, shrubs allows you to feel a sense of balance and calm, where the sun on your back warms you and has you surrender any tension within, as you melt into the stillness of your own body, where all worries and stresses seem to be carried away, and we are left together to simply be and feel as one. As one collective group of equal people. A knowing that is seen in the light of the eyes in one another.

What is our next step when our game has been exposed?

When the destructive, derogatory, disregarding way we were living has been wiped clear.

Where we are left with a body that holds no separation between another.

No hate, no anger, no sadness, no jealousy, no comparison, no harshness, no brutality, no abuse, no fight, no fear, no rage, no worry, no critic, no derogatory ways, no harm what’s so ever.

Simply love, truth, harmony, joy and the knowing that we are all in this equally together. Where we have returned to a natural state of being. Like the feeling we get when being with children and a new born baby. Where innocence and preciousness has been restored.

What is our next step when the choice to love or harm are so clear.

What do we choose?

What do we choose to put into our foundation, knowing that our next step is either going to heal or harm, unite or separate?

Is it possible, when we allow ourselves even a moment to consider, no matter how up the creek we are in humanity, there is always a very pure essence that remains within.

We were never born fighting, killing, abusive, greedy, selfish, angry.

We were born with a sense of innocence and tenderness.

Is it possible as we return to a place of feeling that our world is all that already. Nature is all that already, chirping away all day, waiting for us to re-connect to the very fact that harmony, stillness, love, surrounds us everyday. It is actually within us.

We are that love.

We were born that way.

So why on earth choose anything less?

Is it possible with this great responsibility and awareness about our choices when we wipe the slate clear for even a moment, we can now stand back, re-gain perspective, seeing clearly we have posted our world with all sorts of junk, and we have a united clean up job to do.

No biggy 🙂

Many hands make light work 🙂

Working together to clear up our world will be an amazing learning, it will be a joy to get to know each other, we can ask each other why we never connected earlier, why we didn’t choose to learn from our repeated mistakes earlier, like thousands of years earlier? Why we resisted responsibility for sooo long, why we avoided speaking our truth and being our true selves.

Why did we avoid our inevitable evolution?

Why wait for a mass fire to clear the way for us to live a common sense way?

We can choose a loving way today.

A true global foundation well worth investing in.

Isn’t this true education? And the purpose of education? One where we take our skills, our talents, and we put them to true use. Where we bring all of our unique qualities to the table, to our homes, jobs, lives in what ever capacity and we commit to brotherhood.

Yes, brotherhood in the true sense.

Where we live connected to our essence, the essence that knows us for the beauty, love, care, grace, tenderness, preciousness, smiley, playful, silly, humorous, wise, knowledgable, knowing, delicate, glorious, honouring, knowing, joyful, light, nurturing, powerful, sacred, still, purposeful, understanding, compassionate, deep, committed, confident… being and so much more.

As we nurture our innate qualities.

Is it possible this is living edu-care. Where we live the care we are, and bring out all that is within already. Learning from our bodies every communication, whereby we honour ourselves to the bone. Where we deeply respect and cherish our relationships with one another, our workplaces, nature, and life generally. Allowing no gaps in between, as we are purposefully committed and dedicated to a solid foundation. One that is going to support and sustain humanity to move forward and truly evolve together.

Living the true purpose of Edu-care today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living the ordinary in an extra-ordinary world.

obama

“ But the whole premise of terrorism is to try to disrupt people’s ordinary lives. ” 

The above comment was made from American President Barrack Obama this week as he went and watched a baseball game directly following the Brussels airport attack. This got me questioning what this statement is really communicating to us?

I questioned what even is an ordinary life Obama?

Is an ordinary life one where we stay as self secure and comfortable as possible so we do not have to deal with the realities of the world ? Where we distract ourselves to the point of numbing out from how we feel and what’s really going on? Where we carry on with our duties in a functional manner ignoring everything else around us? Where we have created a bubble of lifestyle choices that ensures we do not appear to get affected by what is going on over the next door neighbours fence little less in the next town, city, country, cosmos.

Where in our lives do we choose irresponsibility over responsibility under the guise of entertainment? Is it possible entertainment in many cases has become a fancy name to say ‘not now reality?’

Bang. That was the sound of someone killing themselves.

Honey can you pass the chips…

I’m sorry to tell you, but you have stage 3 cancer.

Maaaate, how about the game on the weekend! Doggies got up there…

123 dead and many more missing

Have you seen what she was wearing OMG…

I have heart disease and it is going to affect my abilty to work, we may need to sell the house to afford medical bills

Let’s go on a cruise ship around the world for a few months, get away from it all…

Crack is rapidly destroying my life

It was $100 a bottle, crack it open and let’s party like there is no tomorrow…

She is only 12 years old and ended up in hospital from serious self -harm

What’s on the box tonight luv, do we have any ice-cream left…?

I am so anxious I can’t even leave the house to buy groceries anymore.

Did you hear the new I phone is due to come out?

Your worthless and just like your mother

Another person just died of suicide around the world. Every 40 seconds another and another and another and another…

I feel so rejected and pathetic all the time

How many likes did I get?

I feel lonely and I don’t feel connected to my kids

Pop another Xanax…

So this may be an unusual way of presenting a point, and perhaps a bit confronting, but Obamas comment had me questioning: How many times do we feel something, or something happens that needs addressing, and we choose to distract ourselves and not feel it? Where we go and entertain ourselves, go to the movies, surfing, running, shopping, engage in emotional dramas, busy ourselves, eat food, drink, take drugs, enter a relationship, even have a baby, do anything and everything to avoid feel what is really going on for us, others and the state of our shared world.

When we hear from the world health organisation in a recent 2015 statement that 95% of the world are in illness and disease, how do we feel about this?

How do we feel about our current lived reality? And the state of our internal and external environment?

Are we all aware that:

1 person dying of suicide every 40 seconds, which is predicted to rise to every 20 seconds in the near future.

1 in 2 will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime.

1 in 11 people have diabetes and it is predicted 11 will soon become 10.

An estimated 12.6 million people dies as a result of living or working in an unhealthy environment in 2012 – nearly 1 in 4 of total global deaths. 

An estimated 17.5 million people dies from Cardio Vascular Diseases in 2012, representing 31% of all global deaths.

Around 20% of the worlds children and adolescents have mental disorders and problems.

And the list goes on, and on and on. It doesn’t stop.

Our world today literally has a billion and one issues and ill conditions. And the thing is these are only a few of the big ones… And it’s actually getting worse and more intense each day. We haven’t even touched on relationship issues, nor the fact that it is estimated 160 billion people have died in war during the 20th century alone.

That is utterly insane.

O.K

So this blog doesn’t become a big rant that comes across like a feisty picketer at the steps of parliament…

It is simply to address and question: What is it about our current way of life that has us capable of ignoring the reality we are living in?  In a world whereby each year we get sicker, and more worn torn and separated between us all?

Can we bring any amount of understanding to something that doesn’t make any sense?

We live in a world where we can be ordinary in deed. ‘Carry on Obama’ Play ball or stop the War… Which one would you choose if you were president?

So…what are our ordinary lives full of when all this is going on?

Are our lives self serving or are they to support all equally and lovingly?

We know we can grow up, learn skills, get an education, get a job, get a car, have kids, go shopping, go to sports games, exercise, have dinners, go on holidays… For others ordinary maybe working 7 days a week on a farm, in a busy city, for others it maybe loading a gun and fighting on the streets?

What is our ordinary in an extra – ordinary world?

An extra ordinary world whereby, where ever we are, what ever we do, who ever we know, or don’t know we are all unified under the one umbrella of stars, we are all warmed by the same bright hot sun, we are all cleansed by the rains, swept clear with the winds, graced with the sounds of nature, offered an off the dial out of this world simply divine sense of beauty, stillness, harmony, and wow in nature, consistently every second of every 24 hour cycle day.

Yet what do we choose within this harmonious sphere of life?

Are we living in a way that is in honour of ourselves like nature is reflecting to us all day everyday?

Not really…

How come?

Why do we choose recklessness over love?

Why do we choose disregard over self-care and the care of others?

Why do we choose abuse when we are not born abusive?

Who and what is running the show if this does not make sense?

What is our lesson in this extra-ordinary world?

Is it about time we started asking the big questions?

The ones that may have us get a sense that the Universe we are living within may hold a few keys for us to connect to and learn from…

What would happen if we chose to learn from our extra-ordinary world?

Is it possible this is actually the true game we want to see and all be part of?

The one where Love Wins.

 

A blog inspired by Serge Benhayon, The Way of the Livingness and Universal Medicine.

 

References:

http://www.who.int/en/

http://www.upworthy.com/president-obamas-great-response-to-why-he-went-to-a-baseball-game-after-a-teror-attack

 

 

 

What is the purpose of education? Part 1.

 

It’s a great question to ask ourselves as we may possibly take a moment to reflect on our entire lives, our children’s lives and all of those who are yet to come into the world to learn about life and our purpose within it. No biggy 🙂

This question may even prompt us to consider, ‘if and how education has changed over the years?’ And I’m talking right back… thousands of years when philosophers including Plato taught about this very subject in such a way that still offers such insight for us all to this very day.

Having said that what even defines education? We can’t respond to the question, ‘what is the purpose of education?’ when we are not super clear on what education even is to us.

Like really…

It is worth taking a moment to ponder, as it is possible our responses have been shaped & even limited based on what we have been told education is.

For example:

Is ones relationship with ‘getting an education’ determined by attending years of school or University?

Do we need a certificate and our portrait taken in a graduation gown to confirm our status as ‘educated?’

Does our education cease when we are no longer enrolled in an education system?

What about all of the people in the world who never get the opportunity to go to school?

“It is estimated almost 70 million children across the world are prevented from going to school each day.”

Does this mean they are not educated or privy to life’s lessons?

Let’s Google the 2016 definition of education shall we…

Oxford states:

– The process of receiving or giving systematic instruction. Especially at a school or university.

– The theory and practice of teaching

– A body of knowledge acquired while being educated

Now let’s search educate and see if there is a difference?

– Give intellectual, moral, and social instruction to (someone, especially a child), typically at a school or university

– Provide or pay for instruction for (one’s child,) especially at a school.

– Give (someone) training in or information on a particular field

I wonder what the etymology of the word educate even is? Because reading the above definitions from my lived experience as a student who has been through the primary, secondary and university system, to now whereby I am a qualified primary school teacher, I feel this definition falls far, far, far (I can’t emphasise this enough!) short of it’s true meaning in it’s entirety. It is this very strong knowing of ‘there is more to it’ ‘there is way more to education’ than a teacher teaching skills and passing on knowledge (to children) in a school or university.

I recognise the importance of asking this question simply because, so often words have a way of being reinterpreted over time. It’s like playing Chinese whispers with the truth and never bothering to go back to the original source to seek the truth once again. We see this so clearly with the big ones like religion, love and God. Gosh people even go to war over these words, defending their interpreted version over another.

Given that a bastadisation of the true meaning of words is so commonly the case, whereby we have a world filled with millions of people all spouting out and living their separate versions of what they claim to be the truth and the way. Then we can see it is more than possible this has occurred for the word education? And if this is so, how fragmented has the word education become from the whole truth and the original purpose it first came from?

In knowing how words get interpreted and re-intrepeted, that in effect influence the quality of how people live, speak, move, connect, don’t connect… let’s see what comes up when we search the origin of the word educate … click.

Wow, so interesting.

The Latin meaning of the word of education is edu-care. There are a number of words that are commonly used to describe edu-care including: to bring forth, to draw out, to support and to nurture the growth of.

Gosh, reading those few simple words alone feels so very different from the modern day definition, and this is only scratching the surface of the origins of the word education and all it beautifully offers us.

Now, for the sake of writing a blog that is not a million words long, as I am getting the bursting sense there is so much to write on this one word alone. The purpose of Part 1 specifically of this blog is to simply offer the question:

What is the purpose of education?

And does this purpose change when we ask

What is the purpose of edu-care?

When we consider… and possibly re-consider what the truth of this question is asking of us today, is it possible we will be reminded of the essence of the word education, and how nurturing and bringing out all that is there within, is a system that will truly develop us for life, not just a career.

 

References:

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com

 

Understanding Suicide today.

suicide

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-03-09/suicide-becomes-leading-cause-of-premature-death/7232336

The rising rates of suicide in Australia has been labelled a national emergency by the Lifeline CEO this week, after an interview on ABC News. According to statistics suicide has hit a record high after new figures reveal it has become the leading cause of premature death with eight people taking their lives each day.

This is outrageous and alarming to say the least, yet as bold as this may be, my feeling is, eight Australians a day is going to continue to rise as it has been for the past ten years if we remain living and responding to suicide in the same way we are today.

Why is it that even one person takes their own life ever, little less eight per day?

This is an essential question we must ask ourselves and truthfully address, as there is a fundamental understanding that needs to take place between the ages of birth and when someone commits suicide. Because clearly no child is born with the intention to self harm. No toddler is attempting to hang, shoot or gas themselves nor jump off a bridge.

What happens over the years that lead a person to such thoughts and actions?

What is it about the way we are living with ourselves, in our relationships, in our families, with our colleagues, with our friends and people generally right around the world where our world is one that people do not want to be a part of it anymore?

What world are we creating that successfully generates rising numbers of people killing themselves?

Pete Shmigel the CEO of lifeline highlights in his statement there is a disconnection, isolation and loneliness in our society that is contributing to why so many people take their own lives. Mr Shmigel continues to question the role of social media, our education and value systems, as he calls us to work hard to understand the causes of suicide.

So are we really willing to go there? Are we willing to truly see how our current systems are or are not supporting us to honestly deal with why people are in crisis and taking their own lives… we have to don’t we?

Perhaps not. I guess if the issue of suicide is not directly affecting us or someone close to us then it is easy to ignore and remain complacent. It is easier to leave it all up to politicians, teachers, social workers, support and emergency services. They can deal with this national emergency, it’s their job right?

Or is this where we are going so gravely wrong as a society, independently and as a collective race of beings.  We are not living and expressing in a way that supports ourselves and others to feel truly connected to, deeply loved, cared for, nurtured, supported, included, valued, honoured, confirmed, cherished and appreciated.

We seem to be progressively allowing an increase of self abuse, by the very fact we see drinking alcohol (a known poison) and taking drugs an acceptable way to treat our own bodies, often defending that we need a drink to unwind, relax and connect with people.

From my lived experience working with young men and women whom have spoken to me about suicide, about the fact they are hearing voices, about the reasons why they are finding life so hard and not worth living, that they are thinking of killing themselves, that they can’t stop the thoughts that keep telling them how useless and pathetic they are, that they don’t know how to be in the world without smoking drugs, is always a moment of WOW.

Why? Because firstly they have no idea how beautiful they are.

How on earth did I just go from suicidal thoughts to you are beautiful. So easily.

For example: It was only recently I said to an amazing young woman who was having a rough time how beautiful she was. She said to me no body has ever said that to me. And the thing is, this is a young girl who has been ‘through the system’ you could say. Having had many workers support her in crisis, including psychologists, councillors, social workers, teachers, cat teams you name it. Yet even though this young woman has had so many people come and go from her life offering support, never had she heard those simple words.

How on earth is it that we hold back the very expression that people are so desperate to hear? And in this case the screaming obvious.

Is it not common sense to express love when someone is feeling a lack of love in their lives and outright communicating that?

Is it possible in the case of suicide we have become so focused on strategies to minimise harm and keep a person safe that we have left out what the person is truly calling for?

Why do we continuously go for the solutions, the ‘distraction techniques’ the ‘let’s keep you busy’ ‘the trying to fix it’ solution orientated way, rather than the essence of the person, whereby we truly express the love and care that is there to express all the time, everyday with ourselves and one another? Why do we wait for National emergencies to be shaken into considering change.

Now this is never to dismiss our duty of care in a crisis, nor is this to reject that naturally there are systems in place to keep people safe and away from immediate harm of themselves in crisis situations. I am simply highlighting there is so much more we can do to prevent suicide.

Suicide prevention starts much earlier than the moment of crisis. It starts the day we are born.

I have seen too many amazing young people think to end their lives because of a sense of loneliness, insecurities, lack of self-worth and sense of self, to skim over this call out from Mr Schmigel. Particularly as I have experience in this area and an understanding into the cause of suicidal ideation and suicide.

The way I see it is that our systems are failing us. Big time. Including our education system. And I’m a teacher saying this. Yet the thing is, we are the education system. And I’m not talking about having to work or study at school specifically. I am talking about life and the planet we live within as a race of beings. I am talking about the school of life we all live within everyday, every year as we rotate around the sun, provided another opportunity to learn from the past and move forward into the future with greater clarity, understanding and united purpose.

And the thing is by the time you stop reading this post it is likely many more have killed themselves as one person takes their own lives every 40 seconds around our world.

So what are we going to choose?

To carry on turning a blind eye to what’s going on in our own backyard, or begin to take full responsibility for the quality in which we live, with ourselves and others? Knowing that in our every expression and move we have the choice to heal or harm, expressing lovingly or not.

Is it possible expressing our love and care each and everyday is the simple shift that needs to take place so that people who feel lost, lonely, unsafe, dis-connected can again feel that the world they live in is one they want to live in. One that loves and confirms them for who they beautifully are. Just like we do with young children the day they are born.

In the Livingness of our own loving connection we inspire others to re-connect to love again. The love we innately are.

Suicide prevention is in the way we live in each moment.